Finally, justice has triumphed for introverts: over the past few years, it has become calm and internally directed not only acceptable, but also fashionable. But introversion is often mistaken for its more limited, shy, but treatable “relative” – social anxiety.
“What, another term?!” – some will exclaim in horror. Alas, yes, but it is
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necessary to master it, because introversion and social anxiety are two different concepts, but in practice one often replace the other. Although socially alarming introverts are really found, you may well be an anxious extrovert. For example, you want to go to a bar with colleagues, but worry: what if they are not very happy about your company. Or want to talk, but are afraid to froze stupidity. Let’s figure out what distinguishes a socially disturbing person from an introvert.
1. Introverts are born, socially alarming become
Introversion is an innate feature, an integral part of the personality. A child is not born socially alarming, although there may be a predisposition to this. The development of anxiety is influenced by different factors: early social rejection that teaches the child that peers are evil and critical;The installation inspired by parents (never ask for help, because others will condemn for this). Perhaps, being in the spotlight, the child felt so uncomfortable that he began to avoid publicity.
The good news is that you can reconsider the early lessons about people who must condemn and criticize, and learn a new, more life -affirming “material”.
2. Introverts enjoy loneliness
They really are good alone with themselves. Only alone, one on one with a loved one or in a very small company of people who trust, such a person gets the opportunity to “charge batteries”, relax, make up for a shortage of energy.
Anxiety is due to fear, which means that loneliness makes a person tended to her less restless. Does this give this happiness? No – rather, a feeling of relief. Which, of course, is also not bad, but, avoiding people, a person continues to be lonely or uncertain. He is forced to refuse to participate in the events that interests him, because he is afraid that he will feel awkward there, he will be in trouble.
3. Introverts are confident in their abilities, no disturbing – no
Alarming person believes that he is not capable of anything and he has nothing to say. He is convinced that even if he opens his mouth, it will not end in anything good: he will either not understand or will not support him. Introverts are quite confident in their social skills and can “include” them when necessary. This requires effort, but they will easily gain strength the next day, reading the book on the couch or having lunch with a close friend.
4. Anxious people are fixated on the opinions of others
We are social creatures, and it is important for us that others think of us, at least those whom we love and respect. Often we try to inspire ourselves that we must be ourselves, we cannot allow someone else’s opinion to restrain us, but it is unlikely that we can free ourselves from it for one hundred percent. Socially disturbing people worry about the opinions of others too much. They are sure that they do not comply with some generally accepted standards, those around them think about them in a negative way, condemn, do not approve.
5. Social anxiety root – perfectionism
Such people are sure: only if they become “ideal”, the surrounding will cease to judge them and criticize them. They rehearse what they will say to the waiter when their queue comes to place, or think about the upcoming dialogue with the client support service. But the waiters and dispatchers in life seemed to have heard everything, and that the client was confused and stuck, they will forget in a minute.